David Dees
| Some dare call it Conspiracy |
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| What THEY don't want you to know! |
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David Eugene "The Jews Moved My Shoes" "Dees Nuts" Dees (1957–2020)[1] was a former Sesame Street illustrator turned conspiracy theorist, political cartoonist, and purveyor of utter, yet fascinatingly glorious madness. His work is essentially an anti-Semitic version of John Scudamore held together by the wonders of Adobe Photoshop.
Beliefs
Dees believed in all the conspiracies.
No, seriously. All of them. His cartoons featured every possible conspiracy theory and in every possible combination. You want a picture of Obama wearing a crown of thorns and smiling weirdly as he emerges from an egg labeled "Fascist World Government" perched atop a pile of gold coins, while a herd of sheep in the background hold up signs reading "O Baaa Ma!"?[2] How about Satan holding a flaming Earth near a tree with the face from the Shroud of Turin at a Bohemian Grove meeting attended by Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Vladimir Putin, and Bigfoot?[3] A mother with robot legs and a gas mask offering a pie (from which double-helixes float upwards) to her son (the top of whose head has been replaced with an apple labeled "GMO") and daughter (whose head is a potato for some reason), with chemtrails visible through a large window?[4] The Rothschilds, Rockefellers, and Freemasons using HAARP to create a fake water shortage in California as part of Agenda 21?[5] A warehouse with an Illuminati-esque eye in a pyramid staring down at a skeleton in a labcoat labeled "CDC", while said skeleton stirs a giant vat labeled with the UN logo and the word "VACCINE" into which pipes labeled "Live Ebola Virus", "Monosodium Glutamate" and "Squalene Adjuvents" are emptying?[6]
If so, Dees had your back.
Previous work
According to Gawker,[7] Dees was a perfectly normal freelance illustrator for Sesame Street Magazine until he encountered the 9/11 truther movement, after which he vanished down the rabbit hole for a brief period before coming up smelling strongly of carrot wine,[note 1] belching loudly, and disappearing again. His newfound discovery that DA JOOZ were behind everything from 9/11 to his shoes being moved[8] did not exactly go over well with the folks at the magazine. Dees eventually confronted his "zionist jew" boss about his discoveries and soon after found himself mysteriously[citation NOT needed] unemployed.
Other
He was exactly as much of a Ron Paul supporter[9] as you would expect him to be. He also supported Trump for a while, but ended up flip-flopping on good ol' Donnie "No-Wall" Trump, with many of his later comics portraying him as a Zionist ally.[citation needed]
See also
External links
- The Art of David Dees (home page)
- When Mossad aren't rearranging Dave's shoes, they're moving his bicycle, (and implanting a mind-control device into his nose)
- Apparently David believes the Earth is flat: he's got the pictures to prove it
- A subreddit that mocks him and related works
Notes
- ↑ Which, apparently, is an actual type of wine.
