Balloon (CTD)
Balloon is a Home Realm of the Pooka.
Overview
The first thing that greets a visitor who passes through one of the gates to Balloon is a stone sphinx who sits atop a pedestal and commands each inbound traveler to answer her riddles or "suffer the consequences." Failure to answer her riddles correctly results in the propulsion of the traveler high into the air (the pooka who created this chimerical mechanical sphinx saw too many Monty Python movies) and into a nearby pile of... well, it is not pleasant. The propulsion cantrip doesn't always work right, though, and several unfortunates have "missed the mark" and ended up with most of their bones broken. If a frustrated visitor attacks the sphinx, it immediately opens its mouth and whirls its head, giving off a deafening alarm. On the horizon, swarms of pooka soon appear aboard a host of dirigibles, carrying deadly pie-bombs and (literally) high-explosive seltzer-bottles.
The only way to answer the sphinx correctly is to lie to every question, as only a pooka would normally do. Repeating the answer of the previous traveller activates the propulsion cantrip, which tosses the unlucky mimic into the pile.
Once past the sphinx, the path winds through a series of mirrors set into the ground at weird angles. The mirrors all give a ridiculous cast to the viewer's reflected appearance. In the learning ahead is a slate floor with a long hopscotch pattern chalked onto it. Attempting to walk straight through or to not hop in sequential order (Wits + Athletics, difficulty 6) causes the mirror images to come to life. They proceed to jeer and pelt their original with pies. Aside from the fact that the pies actually contain a blue dye and subtle corrosive that gradually eats away any non treasure chimerical items, if not washed off, the citizens of Balloon realize that dye-stained immigrant is "no fun" and ostracize them (+2 difficulty to all rolls with Social Attributes because of the blue dye) until the stain is cleaned off.
There are a few more puzzles along the way, all testing how much "fun" the traveler is.
There are several entrances into Balloon, each with testing-traps along the way and frequent visitor traffic coming and going. Just about everyone is welcome, except for individuals of a more violent bent (an Unseelie redcap rolling into Balloon looking for supper is likely to be humiliated, bruised, and finally bounced out, with his body beaten in a thousand places, if he lives through the bouncing). Even sidhe are welcome and sometimes accepted if they don't try to lord over everyone they see and do maintain an air of "fun." Of course, none of the entrance-traps or usual social gags can make any sidhe look ridiculous, but it doesn't stop most Balloonians from trying.
The Alarums of Balloon, a series of chimerical security devices around the edges of this realm, are a call to arms for the Citizen Army, who climb aboard their dirigibles, zeppelins, combat balloons, and floating whatever to fight any menace.
The Citizen Army employs comical-looking weapons including jacks, marbles, little toy soldiers, and toy tanks, but enemies of Balloon stop laughing when the weapons take effect. Some are explosive, but most of the weapons merely serve to incapacitate. However, if Balloonians are really mad at an invading army, they drop leaflets of "The Funniest Joke in the Realm" on invaders. Of course, if the Citizen Army is victorious, the Balloon government sends flowers and heartfelt apologies to the survivors of the invading army. Comedy is not pretty.
Balloon is a commune, run by a communist collective. The last emperor of Balloon loved the idea of communism so much he voluntarily abdicated and let The People rule. Of course, prestige in the city is based on the best joke, publicly told riddle, or game invented. Little contests and riddle-games abound in social circles. The ubiquitous merriment often results in back-biting and blackballing for unfortunates who are feeling sad or who aren't funny. Balloon is given to ridiculous pomp and silly pageantry, and the social climate and intrigue is similar in tone to the court of France, 18th century.
There are a few buildings and residences that dot the landscape, but no cities. Wild streams and rivers and lush, amply forested mountain ranges divide the region into fertile, unpolluted ecosystems. An abundance of animals inhabits these areas. The Balloon sheriffs and wardens are on the watch for anyone who ignores the "Be kind to animals" signs posted everywhere. Anyone hurting or killing an animal becomes a wanted criminal, as this activity amounts to assault or first-degree murder. All Balloonians are vegetarian, and with good reason... no one can be sure if an animal is really an animal or a loved-one.
Most of the buildings are small, simple, brightly painted dwellings for housing and shops. There are three buildings that are larger than one story.
The Ballon Armory
This large, columnar brick structure with huge arches perforating it (it would collapse in the mundane world) houses weapons and military airships. It is usually guarded by a small standing army. A tall pole stretches up its center. There are no stairs in the building; people move between floors by holding onto the pole and calling out their desired level. Immediately, the cantrip in the Forged pole slides the person up or down to that floor. Most of the weapons are stored in the basement in case of a combustible accident.
Toyroom
A square, boxlike building decorated like a giant birthday cake (which it actually is, but the cake is very stale), the Toyroom is a combination of meeting hall and laboratory. True to its name, the halls and corridors are strewn with toys and entertaining gadgets.
The first floor is mostly meeting halls for governance and public lectures. Everyone participates in this government-by-consensus. Of course, deliberations can, therefore, go on for hours, which is just the way the Balloonians like it. The laboratories are on the third floor. Here is where pooka go for a little privacy, either to polish up their comedic routines or to develop a new gadget. The feel of the laboratories is something akin to a musical conservatory subletting out to a troupe of alchemists. The walls are soundproofed, but they do not muffle the occasional explosion that rocks the third floor (which is why the designers placed the laboratories closest to the roof).
Funhouse
- See the article Funhouse
References
- CTD. Dreams and Nightmares, pp. 89-91.